NEW ORLEANS (WGNO) – Parker Sternbergh has a teenage daughter who loves using social media. But Parker, like most parents, isn’t as social media savvy as her daughter.
As the assistant director of Tulane University’s School of Social Work, Sternbergh frequently sees puzzled parents who don’t know how to keep their kids online activities in check.
“Even though these conversations are very uncomfortable for parents: sex, drugs, the internet. They’re super important to have because if you don’t, then your child might not only think you don’t care about it, but you don’t know where your child is going to go with it,” said Sternbergh.
She advises parents:
- Tell your kids to take a breath.
- Think about the intention of their post.
- What is put out there is permanent and can be damaging to you and others.
- Also, put “no device” periods into place, create device-free studying and family time.
“We’re parents, we’re not friends. We need to show that we have boundaries for our children and we need to define them,” said Sternbergh.
But the parents who want their child’s internet activities on complete lock down, will never be able to achieve that.
The online world just moves too fast.
“You can’t keep up. The kids can’t even keep up,” said Sternbergh.
She says it’s a balance. You give them some freedom. You give them some limitations and always be there for your child.
“Actually sit down with your child. Go to a movie with your child. Have dinner with your child. Actually be involved in your child’s life,” said Sternbergh.
Parker says you can protect your child from the narcissistic, exploitive online world.
“Can you imagine these girls who are out there looking for likes? They spend hours looking for likes – what does that tell us about their self esteem?
“What’s happening in their lives, what’s happening at home, what’s happening in their environment that they’re so compelled that they need this outside affirmation from people they don’t even know… You want them to know that they’re important to you. You want to show them the example of having conversations and having some kind of intimacy with your children,” said Sternbergh.
So the answer is simple:
- Have a conversation, create boundaries – and just be a good parent.
- Spend time with your child, establish trust and relationship with them.
- She says many of the kids out there bullying or putting up inappropriate photos are the ones who need attention.