NEW ORLEANS – Being stuck at home with the one you love sounds romantic at first, but at this point many couples are feeling as if the honeymoon phase of the “shelter at home” mandate is over!
Adult Psychiatrist Dr. Rachel Csaki, of the Ochsner Specialty Health Center in Slidell, joined WGNO’s Stephanie Oswald via Zoom to offer some tips on how couples can keep their vows, and their sanity.
When too much time together turns romance to rage, Dr. Csaki says it’s time to give your partner a break and remember the importance of “me” time.
“We all have challenges finding ‘me’ time in confined spaces, but recognize that we all need time that’s individual. We all need personal time to recharge, to rest, to do the things that are so important, and right now self-care is more important than ever,” says Dr. Csaki.
She also encourages everyone to remember that this is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
“We actually could emerge from this in a stronger position than we started. It’s a gift to be able to be home with a partner that’s supportive and loving,” she says, adding that gratitude is key to a healthy lifestyle.
She also encourages couples stuck at home to get creative when it comes to keeping the romance alive.
“Have a date night at home. Plan a special meal, get out the nicer dishes, light some candles. There are lots of things available through technology. You can see a live concert together, you can tour museums virtually,” she says.
Another idea: consider working on a home improvement project together. Dr. Csaki suggests planting a garden, working on a photography project that you’ve been procrastinating about, or tackling a renovation that’s been on the ‘to do’ list for a while.
However, she warns, “Don’t overwhelm yourself; the purpose is the shared goal. It doesn’t have to be done during this time, it can just be started during this time.”
And while some folks were joking about a baby boom happening 9-10 months from now, the doctor says data from some places coming out of quarantine shows a rise in the number of people filing for divorce.
“It’s true. We are seeing data from countries after lockdown and it’s concerning,” says Dr. Csaki.
Her advice for anyone who feels that their relationship is headed that way? Turn to tele-health and get counseling. Many therapists are available via computer or phone, and making that appointment could save your mind and your marriage.
Another way technology can help when you’re angry and at the breaking point: give yourself a time out and let technology help you communicate that need with your partner. Even if you’re in the same house, send a text to let them know you are taking a ‘time out.’ Go for a walk or listen to a mediation; take 30 minutes for yourself and regroup.
TLC (tender loving care) is needed for others, and for ourselves.
