NEW ORLEANS – Isolation, quarantine and coronavirus death tolls — phrases all too common in today’s conversations, and ones that can be particularly frightening for young ears.
“One seven-year-old might be able to manage certain info about the virus and that same info might make another seven-year-old stressed and uncomfortable,” says Erin Reuther, pediatric psychologist at Children’s Hospital.
Fear can often lead to less-than-desirable behavior including defiance and emotional outbursts.
“What we’re hearing the most of is that parents are at a loss; they’ve just had it. They are running out of ideas,” says Jenni Evans, program manager and parent educator at the Parenting Center at Children’s Hospital.
She adds: “As soon as you start to see your toddlers or teens start act in a way that seems, to be kind, let’s say unappealing, we think, ‘what have I done? Who have I created?'”
As stress rises, parents might be tempted to enforce stricter rules or increase responsibilities for kids, but these experts say that’s a bad idea.
Instead, of harsher rules, Jenni says now is the time to focus on rituals, especially ones that strengthen connection. That can include ‘I love you’ rituals, bedtime rituals or simply patting your child’s shoulder affectionately. It can also include connecting activities such as putting a puzzle together or playing a word game.
It’s important to be available to answer questions whenever they arise, and keep the answers in line with the age of the child who asks the question. Kids need to be informed, but not given too much information that might build unnecessary anxiety.
Maintaining realistic expectations is also key to success.
“This isn’t the time to say ‘hey you’re home more so maybe you should be in charge of all the dishes,’ just keep your expectations where they were and really focus on those moments of connection that are going well, that’s what we’re gonna need when we get to the other side of this,” says Jenni.
“If we put out an air of being calm, collected and confident, that we can get through this,our kids will also feel calm, cool and collected that they can get through as well,” says Reuther.
After all, just like fear, calmness is contagious.