Editor’s note: This story has been updated to correct Archuleta’s age.

UTAH (KTVX) – David Archuleta, American Idol’s Season Seven runner-up, has recently turned to face his inner struggles head-on and is now ready to “be real.”

The 31-year-old Utah resident is a devoted Latter-day Saint who even served a two-year mission in Chile. And he publicly came out as gay in June 2021. 

In a recent Instagram video post, Archuleta used the social media platform as a soundboard of sorts, spilling his inner struggles and emotions about his sexuality to his fans, telling them he needs to “let out some of the steam inside of me that’s building up.” 

In his video, Archuleta revealed that he is having difficulties preparing for his upcoming tour due to his inner battles. 

“I can no longer … pretend like everything’s fine,” he said in the post. 

One strongly emphasized religious doctrine he’s been taught is that marriage between a man and a woman “is everything,” explained Archuleta. “It’s ordained by God.” 

The artist said that had been his plan as well — to marry a woman in the temple and have children.

Archuleta spoke about the feeling of connection and chemistry one experiences during physical and sexual attraction to another, saying he was never able to provide that in the heterosexual relationships he’d been a part of despite trying to “overcome the lack of feelings … and make it work.”

“But there’s this really strange emotion that comes up each time I would try and do that – this guilt, the shame, (that I wasn’t) good enough… You start feeling bitter towards the girls, in my case, and I just didn’t even want to see them anymore,” he stated.

Archuleta was living his life hiding who he really is. 

In his faith, the singer was taught that being involved romantically or sexually with a man would make him feel unhappy and lost in his religious ways.  

Archuleta spoke of the depression and suicidal ideation he faced as a result of his inner turmoil, saying the reality of his attractions mixed with his community’s expectation of him to marry a woman “caused me to despise myself.” 

Archuleta said he began to wonder if God would prefer him to be with someone “who is the same as me,” or “not being here and not existing.”

He decided life was worth the fight “even if I’m gay,” he said.

Today, Archuleta says he’s at peace with his true identity and feels God’s unconditional love for who he is.

“This is just part of my healing,” he said to his fans on Instagram. “Thanks for being a community that has always been kind, willing to listen, and be with me wherever I find myself. I very much appreciate it.